


30 Minutes or Less

by thedoctordanceswithrose



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, pizza delivery au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 17:51:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3946045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedoctordanceswithrose/pseuds/thedoctordanceswithrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College student Laura orders pizza almost every day for two weeks from Dean's Pizza. Reluctant family employee Carmilla gets a little less reluctant when she gets to chat with the new (possibly kind of cute) customer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	30 Minutes or Less

“You have _got_ to be kidding me.” Carmilla stopped in her tracks in front of the door to the pizza place as her gaze fell on the sign taped to the window reading: “We Now Deliver!” Well. That probably explained why Will called her here early this morning. She grimaced and stalked inside, heading immediately for the back room in search of her brother. 

Instead, she felt an insistent tapping on her shoulder and she closed her eyes with a sigh before turning around to face the overgrown puppy before her.

“Hey, dude! Did you s–” Kirsch began, eyes already lit up in excitement. As usual. 

Carmilla held up her hand. “Not now, Beefcake. Where’s the lack-wit I call my brother?”

“He went out to get something. ‘Said he’d be back soon. But, seriously, did you see the sign?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Bro, it’s a great idea! Will’s always talking about how he needs more customers. That should totally work.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Slight problem there, Fido. Have either of you idiots realized it’s only the three of us who work here and with you running off during the school year to go do….whatever it is you do with your neanderthal Zeta Bros–”

“–Bro, not cool–”

“–you’re hardly around, anyway.” 

Kirsch frowned and opened his mouth to reply before another voice cut in. 

“I appreciate the confidence, Kitty, but I did actually consider that. Believe it or not, I _do_ know how to run this place,” Will drawled, leaning against the doorway to the back room.

“Well I hope you also realized I won’t be delivering anything.”

“Carmilla…”

“No. Hire some other people and tighten the leash on your puppy dog, here, and you won’t need me for that. I’ll stay in the kitchen and make the pizza.”

“Bro, you burn the pizzas ‘cause you’re too busy reading,” Kirsch interrupted, grinning.

“That was one fucking time,” Carmilla snarked, crossing her arms. “Just because you’ve never read a book in your life–”

“–Hey! I read Harry Potter!”

She sighed. “–beyond an elementary school reading range, doesn’t mean–”

“Carmilla,” Will cut in. “As charming as I’m sure you’d be with customers door-to-door, I do plan on hiring other people, but until the applications start coming in, it’s up to you two to help out.” He walked forward and held out two large stickers with ‘Dean’s Pizza’ and the phone number for the business on it for them to take. “Don’t screw it up.”

Carmilla wrinkled her nose in disgust. “If you think I’m putting that on my car, you’re more of an idiot than I thought.” 

Will sighed. “Carmilla. Please. The next semester is starting up next week and it’s the perfect time. We need this.”

She rolled her eyes as the fight drained out of her. If he was anyone but her stupid brother… 

“Fine. I’ll deliver. _Temporarily_ ,” she said, relenting, and she felt only slightly better at how happy that seemed to make him. She shoved the hand still holding the stickers away from her. “But I’m not putting that on my fucking car,” she added, heading for the door. 

“Nice! I’ll put both on mine,” Kirsch said, bounding forward to grab them.

“Idiots,” Carmilla muttered.

.. .. .. .. .. 

“Carmilla, get the phone!” Will yelled from the kitchen.

Carmilla sighed heavily and hopped off the counter to grab the phone off the hook. “Yes?” she answered lazily, eyes not leaving the book in front of her face.

 _“Hi!”_ an obnoxiously cheerful voice said from the other end. _“Is this Dean’s Pizza?”_

“No, this is Carmilla,” she replied sarcastically.

 _“Oh..”_ the girl replied, and Carmilla could practically hear the frown forming on the stranger’s face.  _“I’m sorry. I must’ve typed the wrong number. I do that all the time! Well…no, I don’t, actually, I don’t know why I said that, but–”_

“It was a joke, sweetheart,” Carmilla said, rolling her eyes. “You have the right number.”

 _“Oh, good,”_ the girl said with a laugh. Carmilla looked up from her book, momentarily distracted. _“That would’ve been embarrassing,”_ the girl continued. _“Well, I mean, I guess it’s still kind of embarrassing, but I try not to be too embarrassed about stuff like that because there’s really no point, you know? But then in the moment I’m just like ‘wow why did I do that?’”  
_

“Just out of curiosity, Cupcake, do you ever stop talking?” Carmilla asked, arching an eyebrow in amusement. This girl was weird.

There was a silence and Carmilla internally kicked herself. Right, customer service. Not exactly her thing. 

“Hey, look, I’m–” 

 _“Well, just out of curiosity, are you always this rude when you answer the phone?”_ the girl spoke up. Carmilla raised her eyebrows at the question, but relaxed at the teasing tone to it. 

She smirked. “Almost exclusively.”

_“And do you always copy internet memes when you do?”_

Carmilla blinked. “What?”

_“You know the whole…’no, this is Carmilla.’ It’s like the ‘no, this is, Patrick’ thing,”_ the woman said, her voice dipping low to imitate someone at the end. 

“I have literally no idea what you’re referring to.”

 _“You know, from_ Spongebob _? When Patrick works at the Krusty Krab for that episode._ ”

“I assure you, anything I just said to sound remotely like something from that mind-numbing drivel they call a television show was purely coincidental.”

_“You’ve at least seen that episode though, right? Everyone’s seen that episode.”_

“I managed to avoid exposing my brain cells to something so toxic.”

 _“You’ve never seen an episode of_ Spongebob _?!”_

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “No.”

“Whoa. But that’s…wow.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was talking to a ten year old. Do your parents know you’re using their phone?” 

 _“Ha ha,”_ she said sarcastically.  _“I’m 19, thank you. And…I actually didn’t really like it that much either, growing up. I was way more into–”_ she stopped and Carmilla could hear a voice yelling in the background. _“–oh! Right! Sorry! I’m supposed to be ordering pizza.”_

“That’s the idea when calling a pizza place, cutie.”

 _“Right,”_ she said, sounding a little flustered. 

Carmilla smiled. “So what’ll it be?” 

_“A large pepperoni pizza, please.”_

Carmilla scrawled the order on the ticket. “Is that all, cupcake?”

 _“Yep! That’s it!”_ she answered cheerfully, rattling off her number and the address for one of the apartment buildings right by Silas. Carmilla wondered idly if she goes to school there too. _Maybe she’s seen her in class…_

“Alright, it’ll be there soon. Bye, cutie.”

_“It’s Laura.”_

“Right. _Bye, cutie_.”

_“You’re annoying.”_

Carmilla chucked. “I try.”

Laura huffed,  _“Bye, Carmilla.”_

Carmilla hung up and passed the order ticket to Will, leaning on the counter. “Is Kirsch still out delivering?”

“Yeah,” Will said.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “When are we getting new people, Will? It’s been three weeks.”

“Someone new is starting on Monday. Just hired them today.”

“Finally,” she said, heading back to the front counter to continue her book.

“Are you actually getting better with customers? You were on the phone for more than five seconds.”

“Don’t count on it. Just happened to be some annoyingly talkative girl.”

“You didn’t sound very annoyed,” Will said, smirking.

“Thank you for your opinion, Willy Boy, but I think you’re forgetting I don’t actually care for it,” she scoffed, burying herself in her book again. 

Several minutes later Will boxed up the pizza and placed it on the counter just as Kirsch walked in. “Here you go, bro,” Will said nodding at it.

“Dude, already?” Kirsch asked. 

“Sorry, man.”

Carmilla glanced up, hesitating a moment before making a decision. _So she was a little curious…so what?_ “I’ll take it.”

They both looked at her in shock. “What?” they asked in unison.

She rolled her eyes. “I said I’ll take it.”

“Dude is she okay?” Kirsch asked Will.

“Shut up, idiots, before I change my mind,” Carmilla said sliding off the counter again to grab the pizza. Grabbing her keys out her jacket pocket, she headed for the door.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Kirsch asked.

“The girl must’ve sounded cute,” she heard Will whisper.

_Ugh. She’s never doing this again._

_Even if she is cute._


End file.
